I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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