My first STD was from a foam party
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
