It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
