? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
