Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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