dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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