So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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