East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
