Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she told me i tasted like america
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
