Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize