and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
