The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
