it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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