im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
