Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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