Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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