also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
