tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
