There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
