I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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