He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize