I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
