But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
