Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
