I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
