2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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