check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
