Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
