did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize