Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
