We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
