dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
