sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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