let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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