You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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