Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
