there was a trapeze. enough said
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
