Porn is love you can see.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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