hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
