Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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