woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
