is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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