Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
