i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Shame is for Republicans.
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