My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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