I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
