i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
