I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
