Got a toothbrush?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
