he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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