why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
