I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
