On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
