She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize