I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
