help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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