I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
