one two three fourrrrnication!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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