Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
