I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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