So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
