I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
