I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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