when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Holy sore nipples Batman
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
