Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
