if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize