dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
