would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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