More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
