my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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