Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
