What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
