my shit smells like andre
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
