Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
