I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
