New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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