There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
