My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
