I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
